2006

2006 - i can only divide it into 4 parts for the 4 seasons:

Jan - Mar : I started the year 2006 in Singapore with dad, mum, the kids and my brother. Jem and Theo celebrated their birthdays together because their birthdays in the different calendars coincided on the same day. I saw dad.

Apr - Jun : I ended this part of the season by returning to Singapore early June to celebrate mum's 70th birthday (and again with mum's and mine birthday coinciding on the same day in the different calendars) and spent time with my mum and dad during that precious 8 days I had. I saw dad.

Jul - Sep: I returned to Singapore towards the end of this season when dad suffered that fatal stroke. I saw dad although he was unconscious.

Oct - Dec : The last part of the year was spent in Singapore with dad leaving us towards the end. I saw dad and on 4 Dec, he was gone.

This was my year 2006. This is how I can conclude this year. I conclude this year with the loss of someone so close yet so distant through his hidden love for us.

In his wallet, he had his Identity Card, beneath his IC, was my brother's name card. On the other side of the wallet was 2 more pieces of again Jem's namecards, one with our current address written behind it and the other one, he scribbled with his handwriting "SL Tan" at the back of it. It was my name. He wanted to bless us by carrying our names around I guess. His love for us was not expressed verbally nor did he expressed physically by means of hugs and kisses. He seldom spoke. We could not understand what and how he thinks. But I guess through these, he showed that despite what he had gone through in his life, he had gone through it for the sake of us, his kids. although there were many times we were mean to him, rude to him, disrespected him. selfless unconditional love of a man who was a good man who had all his life caught in between the lives of his parents and that of his wife and kids. And when he geared towards my grandparents, he neglected us and had affected us as a result. I dont know if I can blame him at all. Many times I did. I guess he didnt have a choice. I dont know.

Goodbye 2006. I guess I do not have much good memories to bring along with me this year. May 2007 heralds a good start.

In Memory of Father this Christmas 2006

song chosen by Jem
video done by myself

December

December is normally the month I favour most amongst the other months in Singapore. Maybe it is because Christmas falls on this month, but more so because this is generally the more cooler time in hot humid Singapore. The winds maybe not be wintry cold, but it lends a wintry feel to it with a dash of coolness in it, so to speak. The temperature still hovers around the high twenties to even the low thirties, but there are days when temperature is only 24- 25 degrees celcius indoors or at night. That I have to sleep with a blanket and without the air-conditioner.

However this is year is different. December brings to me a sense of void and emptiness - that dad is longer with us. Thus Christmas feels different too, not that we celebrate Christmas with my parents all these while, for they were not Christians, not until my father accepted the Lord while he was in ICU and not until my mum re-dedicated herself to the Lord during father''s wake.

Christmas time is about giving - all my years I have been giving - with whatever money I had, I would buy mum the washing machine, cooking pots and sets, to buy my brother his fav item for his christmas and his birthdays , buy my family their favourite food, buy my then bf the best gift i could ever afford etc etc. We have been told to be hospitable, (with kindness and warmth) , and therefore opened up my house to overseas visitors when they visited Melbourne, to friends over for meals. Giving is better than receiving we were told. Sometimes, when we give so much away, give, give and give BUT you dont receive. Know what, sometimes, you feel good to receive as well. That we have been taken for a ride. That we have been taken for granted. Things cannot merely be one-sided. And when some gets calculative about how much they should contribute and give. It gets all too much to bear.

Is Christmas all about giving?

golden advice

the last advice said to me when father and I went back to 21 SMR, during the CNY period in Feb this year, was this "You are truly successful only through own efforts rather than through inheritance, greed or worse, deceit."

it will be deeply etched into my mind for the rest of my life.

a week

to set the record straight - father's bday falls on 21 Nov and he was born in the year 1933. his passed away on 4 December 2006. he was 73 years old.

it's been week exactly since his body was cremated at Mandai Crematorium. it was a heart wrenching moment to see your own father being pushed into the burning furnace without having any more chance to see his physical body now.

the after trauma lingers on deep within me. did i not do enough in his living years? i neglected him esp his health. i didnt know i miss him so so much. it was only in the past 5 years he had been liberated from his duty as a filial son to grandma. it was only in the past few years he had the opportunity to travel to Japan for Jem's graduation, to Melbourne to visit us and then to Perth to visit my aunt & family, to China for a holiday, to HK with us to visit my in-laws. His wish to visit BKK has not been fulfilled. why cant he live for another 5 years. i dont ask for more - just 5 more years. why? why did he have to go when he was showing signs of recovery? we were pinning our hopes for him to recover completely and then i will bring him to BKK for a holiday. he's been wanting to visit Thailand coz grandpa settled in Thailand from China before migrating further south to Singapore. I know we have some relations in Phuket - from the same family village in Fujian, China.

i didnt expect the last time to see him alive and conscious was during my trip back in June. if i had known then, i would have simply just extended my stay further in spite of hubba's objection and booked a short trip to Thailand and myself. if only i was sensitive to my spirit.

this whole year there has been a lingering feeling, almost ominous, that i wanted more time to spend with mum and dad. which explians why i didnt wanna retun to Melbourne. which explains why i wanted a trip badly back to Singapore in June and another one in December.

there were many times, my spirit told me to say goodbye to dad, to talk to him, to hug him, to show concern for him etc but i neglected most of it. not being sensitive.

i didnt know it was gonna be dad. mum has existing health conditions. i focused on her so much i neglected him. why does things work the other way round? is there an answer to all these? why? why? why? i kept asking myself.

i didnt show enough respect to him. he was a good man. with a good heart. but a man of few words. and so soft he gets trampled all over by others. often misunderstood by others including us. even when he did try to utter something to us the few times we visited him prior to him passing away, he was mumbling sans his voice due to the tracheostomy. we couldnt even hear what he wanted to tell us.

i need answers. i want to know why. i will not give up. i dont undertand how this whole universe works. but i want to know more. why some got healed but why not my father? why? why? why?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Dad is with Jesus now

It is with a heavy heart that I write about my dad's passing away this morning at the nursing home despite him showing signs of his recovery and consciousness.

But I have an assurance that Jesus forgave him of his sins and that Jesus loves him very much during last Thursday's healing session at Bethesda cathedral. This by itself, is the greatest comfort to hear.

Our life on earth is only temporary. Life with Jesus is eternal. and bliss.

I will miss you dad. We will see you in heaven one day.

Happy Bday Dad

It is dad's 73rd birthday today.

I wish he can be home and conscious to cut his birthday cake like the time I did the same for mum back in June. I have not celebrated his birthday with him personally for the past many years.

I wish he can be home and conscious to enjoy the nice environment and watch is fav TV program on his plasma tv he had indicated he wanted.

I wish he can be with us enjoying a simple meal and slurping down his birthday mee sua at least , yes, at least being conscious and not bedridden and lying still.

I wish he can be mobile.

I wish he can be around to play with Tessa.

I wish he is still walking around so that we can plan a trip to BKK together. This time, it's okay if it's just him and me, father and daughter, if mum doesnt want to come along with us.

I wish him complete recovery at least he is now starting to move and able to shift his left leg according to the resident nurse.

I wish he could feel and respond to my kiss when i kissed him on his left cheek and forehead. And I am ashamed to say that this is my first time I have ever kissed him in my whole entire life although I have given him a hug before.

I wish him a happy 73rd birthday, at least he is still around to "celebrate" this day. Give thanks, always.

this is my blog

...and so i deserve every right to do what deems fit. i do not and will not succumb to mounting pressures for me to eradicate certain entries i have posted unless i see fit.

i am a human with emotions and feelings too. i write what is within me - and feel the need to vent that energy and release it in the form of words. since verbal means was tainted useless. as if i purely do not exists in this world. yes, i know i am dimunitive. but still i need to make my presence felt. by voicing out. i cannot forever be bottling my emotions within me. i will explode one day, eventually. i feel helpless. very very helpless many many times. But i choose to insists and believe God did not leave me nor forsake me. He stands besides me. He comforts me.

i was peeved. i was vexed over many issues. i mulled over many other life's problems and got to where I am today. I have gone through much more than one would imagined. Life is tough. Indeed it is very much so. made even more miserable by someone so close yet the connection seems so very distant. like on the extreme opposite ends of the polar. different wavelengths. different frequencies.

i am apt to say that the distance seems to be widening. wavering through rough tides. what seems to be the norm doesnt seem so now. they have all but vaguely vanished into the mist.

but i am still me.

the baby that was not meant to be

it was unplanned. and it was not meant to be. at 8 weeks, the fetal heartbeat could not be detected on ultrasound. and it had been so for quite a few weeks before and after the doc's appt. until the d&c was done. it went smoothly. i am okay. some people chipped "it must have been hard on you with so many things happening at the same time". I say "I am fine. I am coping well. God made me a strong woman"

and i have been treated well - dearest friend took urgent leave to help take care of my little girl, her mum made tonic food for me and food for Tessa, bought more fresh chicken and ginger for me to use later on, another friend took me out to drink tonic soup, took care of Tessa by bringing her out together with her twins, cousins dropping by with more tonic food and fresh food. i am so touched by their kind gestures. indeed i am.

story of a man and his cars

Once upon a time, an employed man decided he needed a car for his new family. And so, he went out and bought a T brand C Model car despite the objection from his wife that the mileage was high and it was a manual car. "Manual cars are cheaper and is more fuel efficient" was his argument and he won.

A few years later, the same man, now a businessman, decided that he needed another car for business needs and went on to buy another car. This time round, it was yet again another T brand C model car ,however, this time it being a brand new model and an auto gear one at best. "Because I get a fleet discount was his argument" for getting the auto car despite what he had argued previously.

Why would you need 2 cars of the same make and model is what other people have frequently asked. "I like the brand and they are good cars" was his explanation this time.

And all these while, his wife was treated with a "deaf ear" and without considering her "existence".

However, due to family circumstances, the wife had to leave the country and the man was left with 2 cars. The wife told him to sell 1 of the car as it was not going to be used for the next few years. The man agreed.

A few weeks later, the man could not decide which car to sell. He reasoned that if he were to sell the new car, he would get more returns than selling the older car. However, he would then make huge losses either way on both cars than what he had originally paid for.

He then decided to keep the both cars instead of selling them because he could not bear to suffer the huge losses.

The wife's reasoning was to put to deaf ears again this time. The wife had said that the money could be channeled to the mortgage account to help reduce the mortgage loan and interests.

The man decided on his stand still that he would not buy anymore new cars in the future because of the depreciation factor of owning and buying a car. He would keep both cars for the next few years until the wife returns at the expense of his wife's objections. She had also reasoned that the interest rates on home loans were rising again and there was no point in keeping a car and not using it while still having to pay car insurance and registration fees amounting to over a thousand dollar per year.

Moral of the story ? -

"Dont be penny wise but pound foolish"

"if you dont want to listen to your wife, dont marry"

"if you cannot afford a car, dont buy one"

"if you cannot afford a car, you cannot afford anything else"

"even if you can afford a car, dont by one. buy a diamond instead"

Unfair

It is grossly unfair to bear the brunt of one's anger & frustration because the electricity bill was a whopping $501 for the period from 2 August to 28 Oct 2006.

First - we had visitors who came to stay with us and I assumed the column heater (which apparently uses more energy) was turned on the whole night for that 5 nights while they staying with us.

Secondly, I dont sleep with the heater on as my quilt is warm enough to keep us warm during that chilly winter period AND I left Melbourne on 17 September.

And so, I was not even around to use any electricity after that period until 28 Oct.

Enough is enough.

Praise God II

Did I share this with you guys? My dad opened his left eye - that one that was still reflective to light - many times over. And he stared at Tessa the longest time he could. That was Satuday when we all visited him at the nursing home. Praise God for that. Now we will continue to uphold him in prayers for him to open his right eye, talk, even move his limbs!!!

My mum is going for the check-up with the oncologist at TTSH this morning. Pray that the spirit goes before us and seal the protection upon her, be with her and clear her of all cancer cells. I have heard of many testimonies whereby the cancer cells simply disappeared - mum is going to be one of them. Amen.

Praise God

Praise God for mum's complete healing of pneumonia. It's been resolved! We sent her to Tan Tock Seng A&E for a follow up and Xray revealed all is clear. However, an appointment has been made to see the oncologist on Monday for a CT Scan just to be sure that the cancer cells did not spread to the lung.

We want to continue to uphold her condition to be healed of cancer and given a new heart (for she hsa a weak, enlarged heart) and claim the promise prohesised 6 years ago that God will raise her up in His ways. Amen.

p.s sorry for some of the typo errors made in the past few entries. couldn't be bothered to edit them.

talking about hospital, nursing home, Hari Raya and Malay food

so, my dad was finally discharged from the hospital and being transferred over to the nursing home. the discharge procedure was hurried and the ambulance personnel had to rush. in the end, we left the hospital without having the chance to even say thank you to the staff nurse.

on the way to the nursing home,, whilst being seated in the ambulance, next to my father, I looked out at the many unfamiliar environment and surroundings in which I have never been to before all these years growing up in Singapore.

today, being Hari Raya, I witnessed the many Malay families who were dressed up in their festive best. In fact, I was really impressed how they colour coordinate amongst the family members - I saw this 3 generation family all dressed in baby pink with 1 particular lady who had a svelte figure, and who combined the best of east-west dressing with a pair of slim black pants and a pink kebaya-style top - i thought it was absolutely stunning. Then I saw another family in black and gold combi as well as one other family in all white.

I have always been amazed at the unity and bond the Malays bear and share. I remember when my dad was still in SICU, this Malay family will have the whole gang of their family members plus relatives as well as family friends, who would gather and sit around occupying 2 different sections of the 4 part visitors area. They would often greet one another in their traditional way - shaking hands, kissing their hands, bringing it to their hearts or even hugging each other among members of the same gender.

We would be amazed and often than not, secretly admire this traits they so very possess. how wonderful and how great a community they are.

talking about Malays, I have been eating lots of Malay food I have been so badly deprived while living in Melbourne - changi village nasi lemak, mee rebus, lontong, mee siam, mee soto, bergedel, tauhu telur, ikan goreng, vegetable curry, sardine puffs, putu piring etc. I remember my friends and I used to patronise the 2 Malay cook food stalls in secondary school nearly everyday despite the long queues and our favourite dish - kway teow goreng!! Hmm, I shall also hunt down that Nasi Padang stall i used to patronise many years back and eat to my hearts content. one day.

Jesus calmed a storm

It is 10.20am and Chong Swee from Lighthouse Evagelism just called to say a word of prayer for me when he said the word "STORM" again.

This is the 3rd time I hear/read this word since i woke up.

Jesus calmed a storm Mark 4:35-41:

1. Jesus cared for the safety of His disciples. Mark 4:38-39.
2. Jesus showed His authority as God by calming the storm. Mark 4:39.
3. Jesus wanted the disciples to trust in the saving powers of God which were made known through Jesus. Mark 4:40.

This storm I will ride through with Jesus by my side.

Storms of Life

This is another article on STORMS sent forth by sister Elsie i have just received through email:


Years ago, a farmer owned land along the Atlantic seacoast. He constantly advertised for hired hands. Most people were reluctant to work on farms along the Atlantic. They dreaded the awful storms that raged across the Atlantic, wreaking havoc on the buildings and crops.

As the farmer interviewed applicants for the job, he received a steady stream of refusals.

Finally, a short, thin man, well past middle age, approached the farmer. "Are you a good farm hand?" the farmer asked him.

"Well, I can sleep when the wind blows," answered the little man. Although puzzled by this answer, the farmer, desperate for help, hired him. The little man worked well around the farm, busy from dawn to dusk, and the farmer felt satisfied with the man's work.

Then one night the wind howled loudly in from offshore. Jumping out of bed, the farmer grabbed a lantern and rushed next door to the hired hand's sleeping quarters. He shook the little man and yelled, "Get up! A storm is coming! Tie things down before they blow away!"

The little man rolled over in bed and said firmly, "No sir. I told you, I can sleep when the wind blows."

Enraged by the response, the farmer was tempted to fire him on the spot. Instead, he hurried outside to prepare for the storm. To his amazement, he discovered that all of the haystacks had been covered with tarpaulins. The cows were in the barn, the chickens were in the coops, and the doors were barred. The shutters were tightly secured. Everything was tied down. Nothing could blow away. The farmer then understood what his hired hand meant, so he returned to his bed to also sleep while the wind blew.

When you're prepared, spiritually, mentally, and physically, you have nothing to fear. Can you sleep when the wind blows through your life?

The hired hand in the story was able to sleep because he had secured the farm against the storm.

We secure ourselves against the storms of life by grounding ourselves in the Word of God. We don't need to understand, we just need to hold His hand to have peace in the middle of storms.

Storms Bring Out The Eagles

My brother's friend gave him this on a printed paper and I thought it'd be good that I post it here so that I can read it through over and over again:

"Storms Bring Out The Eagles, But the Little Birds Take Cover"

When the "storms of life"
Gather darkly ahead,
I think of these wonderful words
I once read.

And I say to myself
As "threatening clouds" hover,
Don't "fold up your wings"
And "run for cover".

But like the eagle,
"Spread wide your wings"
And "soar far above"
The troubles life brings.

For the eagle knows
That the higher he flies,
The more tranquil and brighter
Become the skies.

And there is nothing in life
God ever asks us to bear
That we can't soar above
"On the wings of prayer".

And in looking back over
The "storm you passed through",
You'll find you gained strangth
And new courage, too.

For in facing "life's storms"
With an eagle's wings,
You can fly far above
Earth's small, petty things.

~Helen Steiner Rice~

busy

Tessa and I were due to leave Singapore tonightwith SQ. I had contacted SQ to cancel my seats on the flight. It's been 35 days exactly today being back here. Well, at least, the good thing about it being here is that my hayfever is gone and Tessa's incessant runy nose has stopped.

Settled the nursing home part and dad will be discharged tomorrow from the hospital and will be transferred there with the ambulance the nursing home provides.

Now, I have to find ways and means to get mum to do a follow up with the doctor. The hospital had wanted her to be admitted into A&E but she had vehemently opposed to it and even gave me a big lashing out. sigh. sometimes, it is difficult being her daughter.

Dear Lord, give me more strength and patience and love. Your grace and mercy endures forever. Amen.

why?

why - i was asked, have I not been blogging.

why - i ask myself, did my father had a stroke out of the blue and had remained in coma since?

why - i ask myself, did my mum at the same time developed pneumonia and that the doc suggested it could be that the cancer had spread to her right lung (x-ray revealed that fluids were in the lungs)?

why - are things all happening all at once ?

why - am i on this earth ?

why ??? because i am to serve a purpose?

too many whys but no answers is that why???

1 month

It's been 4 Sundays and that makes it a month since my dad went into coma. and it's been a month since I've been back here in hot, humid and hazy Singapore (all thanks to our neighbour who labelled this tiny island nation The Little Red Dot).

I have not been in the mood to blog simply because I dont feel like doing it. Everything is wearing me down. Even with VivoCity's opening, I dont seem to feel the excitement at all even though I love shopping. I wonder if I can ever feel the pulse of life anymore. I am just deadbeat.

Neverthless, life still goes on. And i decidedly want to enjoy every full minute of it all. Life is short - enjoy while you can.

To digress, the Goldheart TV ad never cease to enthrall my attention. Julie London's rendition of Fly Me To The Moon and the depicted scenes of the ad with fast car, starry skies, handsome man, beautiful lady and needless to say, the huge diamond she was wearing seems a potent combination for a sucker like myself. And now Tessa too. ha. Celestial. I remember. Always. Excellent ad. wonder who did the ad. see, the marketing part of me is now scrawling its way out.

Mid Autumns Festival

It is Mid Autumn Festival, rather commonly known as the Mooncake Festival, today.

As Theo had to return to Melbourne to start his new school term, Tessa and him had the opportunity to light up their lanterns, in the formof a car (for Theo) and a butterfly (for Terssa), courtesy of my cousin May, on Wednesday, just before hubba and him boarded their flight out of Singapore at 2340 hours.

But as for today, we took to the streets when my dear brother Jem, suggested that we eat out at Chinatown and then walk around the vicinity to soak in the atmosphere of the festivity. I thought it was Chinese New Year - with the buzz, the crowds, the bazaar, the lights, lanterns and all that.

However, I wish hubba and Theo was around and of course, dad to be amongst us. As the saying goes, when the moon is round, it is time for a reunion for family members.

Dad was transferred out of his usual bed to a single air-con ward, which is good because he had developed a slight fever again and the 8 beds ward is usually crowded with visitirs who might bring with them various virus which might pass on to him.

The nurses there have so far been extremely helpful and accomodative. I would not say so for the doctors. And that is the reason why they are there - a nicely termed Restructured Hospital - when in fact, it's a government hospital.

Okay, I'd better go help myself to a small piece of mooncake - Black Sesame Pandan and a snowskin lotus paste with olive seeds one, again courtesy of cousin May. She's been really sweet, visitng my dad whenever she could possibly could and praying for dad and inviting me over to her church for a special meeting with Ps Paul Roulet of Internal Church Las Vegas.

In God I Trust.

more updates

It's been a week since my dad fell into coma caused by Intercranial Hemorrhage Acute Stroke. It is rare and the more srious of the few types of strokes.

No, we are not giving up hope. We visit him, talk to him, pray for him and make him feel loved for we love because He first loved us.

Many Christian brothers and sisters came to visit and said a word of prayers - cousins, relatives, friends, colleagues and ex-colleagues alike. We are encouraged and supported thoroughly in Christ.

Dad was transferred out of Surgical Intensive Care Unit (SICU) to a high dependency ward this evening. After that tracheotomy procedure performed yesterday, he is now breathing on his own. But it pains me to see a hole in his throat and to see the feeding tubes being inserted into his nostrils, causing hiccups beacuse it irrates his diaphragm.

I have heard of many miracles and I am going to trust my dad's case is one of the many God can do in His mighty powerful and miraculous way. What an awesome God we serve.

Update

Tessa and I travelled back to Singapore the very night we heard the news of my father's fall. Made a few calls to various parties and after speaking to the doctor who told me to get back soonest possible, I went onto the internet and checked that there was flight out from Melbourne by SQ departing at 0050am. We packed our bags and proceeded to the airport with help from church friends who popped by to help us with some packing and praying and sending us to the airport. Initially, I was told that the flight was overbooked but after I told them what happened, they immediately released 4 seats for us.

I do not have to say this, but Singapore Airlines is indeed exceptional in its service all the way from the airport (Biju and Steven Bajany) to the inflight service. We have been constantly taken cared of, consoled by the stewards (Mr R Sathia and Mr Ong Kian Seng), offered special food like porridge and seafood kway teow soup, given a whole bagful of lollies and toys for Tessa and even transferred us to First Class at the last leg of the flight so that we could get off the flight first. I endeavour to write a letter of compliments when time permits.

However, Hubba and Theodore had to stay back because there was in issue with Theo's expired passport. They eventually arrived late Tuesday night.

My brother Jeremy arrived on Monday evening.

Dad is still in a comatose condition since Sunday morning after the fall. The prognosis by the doctors are all negative but we choose to rebuke all negative things said by men and trust in the hands of our Lord God. The doctors told us to make a decision by today as they had to remove the ventilator and perform a surgery for him to breathe on his own instead of relying on the machine to help him breathe.

His condition is rare because he had internal brain bleeding in the brain stem. According to the doctor, the brain stem is the vital part of the brain that controls some vital organs like the lungs and it is such a tight area they could not operate on him. The doctors could not determine the cause of it as it could be due to his undiagnosed high blood pressure or was the result of the impact of the fall onto the ground when he felt giddy.

Prayer warriors from Lighthouse Evangelism came to pray for him and even Pastor Betty Lin, a Taiwanese pastor who spoke excellent English, Mandarin and Hokkien came to pray the prayer of salvation for him. We witnessed that he clasp his right palm tightly when she held onto his hand when praying the sinner's prayer to accept Jesus into his life.

I could not believe how many people have prayed for him - my aunts, uncles, cousins, friends even Jeremy's coleagues from MFA.

I will continue to solicit prayers for miracles to work upon dad's fragile life. Please, if you believe in Jesus and his powers, please pray for him right now when you read this.

Thank you.

PRAYER REQUEST

I've just received a call from my aunt in Perth to tell me that my dad had a fall in the market this morning and had suffered a stroke. He is now hospitalised at Changi General Hospital.

Please pray for competent doctors to treat him and help him regain consciousness. Pray for his heart to be softened to receive Jesus into his life.

Thanks

school holidays

How time flies. It's the start of another 2 weeks of school holidays for the kids. 10 mor or so weeks and it will the end of school term.

Theodore started his hols earlier than most being Wed his last school term day. The school organised a worship concert and a Aussie sausage sizzle for lunch.

Tessa missed Wednesday as well as Thursday's class but went back to kinder for the last term class on Friday. She's been missing so much school by falling sick here and there, on and off - and you know, her fees are expensive!

Trying to book them into swimming classes as summer draws near. But was told by a friend not to let Tessa swim because of the fluids in her ears. But hubba insists it is okay.

Now, it will be the start of yet another non-stop buzz.

write

I did not want to put this down but I have to say it - yes, my tiny puny scrawny little princess Tessa has fallen ill again since Monday.

Our GP Dr G is getting very worried and has ordered a urine test as well as a blood test for her. So, I have to make 3 appointments with the Royal Childrens' Hospital - both Theodore and Tessa has to see a ENT specialist (yes, I have been advised to send Theo to the ENT specialist coz the school nurse found his waxy ears affecting his hearing and as for Tessa, to have her ears re-examined and arrange for a surgey date) and as well, a blood test for Tessa.

Besides having a temperature, she was again complaining of a tummy ache and the doc found her to have sinus and even prescribed antibiotic for her this time (again!!!)as well as a nasal spray for the sinus condition.

I dont' know what to say, but I feel fatigued and worndown. My bedtime retreat has now been brought forwarded to 10ish. Anything later than that hour and I cannot function. And that is one reason why I have not been blogging much.

The other reason is because I have a whole pile of books and magazines to devour. All the way from the US, I have Redbook, Ladies Home Journal, Cosmopolitan, Vanity Fair and Gourmet magazines to read in addition to the New Idea magazine I bought this week which featured Steve Irwin on their front cover. And then I have 3 more chapters to read in The Spirit Filled Temperament.

I cant believe it, I am dozing off as I am writing this. I'd better tuck to bed now. Sweet Dreams.

9/11

It's September 11 today - and my in-laws are flying off from Honolulu to Philadelphia to visit and stay with Ben and Emily at their very pretty white-washed American cottage 'urb house this very day.

I wonder why of all days they have been booked on this day to fly.

Pray for safe journey for them.

blog glog

I really wish I could blog more.

Like last Sunday's sermon topic for Fathers' Day (yeah...was titled Diamonds Are Forever...hehe), the trip to the Botanical Gardens after church last Sunday as well for some coffee and cakes and a short walk before the rain started to pour, about Theo's Creative Arts performance in school, about how the kids spent time sans daddy's presence, about the books I bought, about the weather, about friends.

Somehow, my spirit is willing but my flesh is weak (力不从心).

Even right now.

I survived!!!

...yeah...*signs of victory* - I survived that 1 week all by myself with 2 kids!!! I wasn't as stressed out as I thought it would be. All so because that extra big kid was not around to add to the stress.

Before we proceeded to the airport last night, kids and I popped over the Reid's residence for a cook-a-storm dinner session. Happy made a Korean spicy all-in-one yummy hotpot while I cooked my own version of Kueh Pie-tee (using deep fried won-ton skins shaped into a star shaped shallow bowl for the casing and stewed turnips with dried shrimps, chinese mushrooms, carrots and shrimps for the fillings), deep fried fish paste and pork seaweed with carrots and cucumbers rolls and blanched bok-choy with deep fried garlic, shallots and dried shrimps. And of course, they rounded up the good time with cookies and cream ice cream served with portions of golden syrup pudding. *Ok, I tell myself, that was going to be the last time, I gotta cut down on sugar badly but I simply couldn't resist trying that irresistible but sinful pudding*

Well, I dont know if I have been so influenced by Happy or Korean culture for that matter, I have been eating my foods and dipping them in Korean Hot Pepper Sauce for that extra oomph and as well, eating my Fried Shanghai Noodles accompanied with Kim-Chi (in the restaurant), munching on Kim-Chi as snacks, slurping Korean instant potato noodles with Kim-Chi, and making and eating kim-chi sushi. Next time, you'll probably find me using all Korean cosmetics, skin-care (of which some things I already do) and donning Korean fashion (yeah, already saw one copy of that Korean fashion magazine loaned by Happy and I found it so interesting - Korean haute couture). One thing though, is that, I have not yet catch up on the Korean drama craze. Well, at least not yet. And I'd better hope it will not although I saw myself glued to the Korean cable channel when at Florence's place. But one thing for sure, there's only 24 hours a day and I can only stretch this much and no more.

good night!

p.s I thought I have to mention this. Tessa being the sweet girl as she is, tried very very very hard to stay awake on the way to the airport last night , because as she said in her own words, "wants to see daddy come back to Melbourne". She did dozed off for a little while but fought back just to stay awake and even nagged me to drive faster. Girls are just so different. sweet as.

what's wrong?

I cant use Picasa

I cant listen to Podcasts using Quicktime

I get error messages everytime and had to close Firefox

The media detector is not working

My house is in a mess

I managed to finish only 1 and a half out of the 3 books I had set myself to finish by tomorrow and I have acquired 3 additional ones to read

I forgot to bring my camera along to Theo school's Creative Arts Performance tonight - he did a great job performing his gymnastics though!!!

I am deadbeat

Crikey, Steve's gone!

I am deeply saddened by Steve Irwin's sudden and bizarre death.

Theo loved to watch him on TV. Ironically, the most times we watched him was when we were holidaying in Singapore, which was shown on Discovery Channel on Cable TV. My dad loved it too.

He portrays himself as a very devoted family man and as well, contrastingly, as a typical Aussie larrikin. But a good man indeed with a very infectious persona.

"What you see is what you get" is what's been generally described of him.

God Bless Your Soul Steve.

Languages for Thought

Read this article in The Straits Times Interactive today titled "Passing on the Chinese Language" which is actually a speech made by Singapore's Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew last Saturday. Full article can be viewed here.

Anyway, here is an excerpt of the speech : "Nevertheless we have succeeded in creating an English-speaking younger generation who can speak Mandarin as a second language, though not at the standard of English or Mandarin that we are aiming for." - referring to how Singlish and Chinglish came about?

So, that brings me to ask this question : Are Singaporeans generally 东不成 西不就?

双语政策一直是我们教育制度的一大卖点。有时竟觉得是一种反讽。身为双语政策下的产物，中英语言的表达能力与掌握两语的深奥度有限,并时更觉得自己是文化上的浮萍。语言毕竟不是文化的全部,单凭掌握东西方语不足以掌握深度的文化，结果只是东西方都不着边。这该是新加坡人的荣耀还是尴尬呢？

Lessons in Logic

Lessons in Logic

If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.

........................................................................

I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.

........................................................................


Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?

........................................................................


If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?

........................................................................


Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.

........................................................................


How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

........................................................................


Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.

........................................................................


One should love animals.
They are so tasty.

........................................................................


Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

........................................................................


Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.

........................................................................


The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.

........................................................................


Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

........................................................................


Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.

........................................................................


"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep

........................................................................


There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning

........................................................................


"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk

........................................................................


"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours

........................................................................


God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.

........................................................................


The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.


........................................................................

A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........

Happy Fathers' Day

Talking Cock in Parliament 2006

This was the one Ivan was trying to show us with his MacBook at the Botanical Gardens this afternoon.

Hahaha...I had a good time laughing my heart out...but hey, this shows the versatility of Singaporeans in handling languages - being able to switch between American, British, Australian and Singlish or even Chinglish! Or as she said it "We all speak English but some English is more English than others"....But credits goes really to Ruby herself - a very talented lady indeed!

humming out loud

...hahaha...humpalang means everything in Cantonese dialect ...and a spoof to the famed mee siam "mai hum" (without cockles) or "mai hiam" (without chilli)...whichever. Photo courtesy of Talkingcock or visit here.

Ivan is a BIG fan of Talking Cock - he's reliving his life back in Singapore though them and Mr Brown. Talk about lost childhood (isn't it?) haha... thanks to his ex-SMR as well current neighbour moi here huh?

my princess's joke

Tessa was complimented today for being a pretty girl.

And so I reveberated the message to her, saying to her "Tessa is a pretty girl?"

Thinking I should get a very happy response, I was shocked when she gave me a grumpy, grouchy look and her "famous" frown (yeah right, from me huh?), crossed her arms, turned to her side and said to me loudly "NO".

I was puzzled. You would be happy if you receive compliments from someone wouldn't you? And so, I pressed on to ask "Why Tessa, what's wrong? Aren't you a pretty girl?"

And guessed what her reply was ? - "I'm a PRINCESS!!!"...haha..I am Her Majesty The Queen then.

Relaxing Saturday

It's been a pretty relaxing Saturday for me.

Despite tucking into bed after midnight, I woke up slightly before 7am this morning to the gentle morning glow of light that has seeped in through the curtains. With Spring's arrival, the sun wakes up earlier too.

Did 2 loads of laundry and hung them up to dry. But the weather forecast for today is rain, rain for tomorrow, rain for day after. And the temperature will be back to winter like after today.

Had a lazy Saturday morning brekkie with the kids and then we all spoke to hubba, yeh-yeh (lo-yeh) and mah-mah (lai-lai) via Skype. Mah-mah (as the kids calls her) bought so much foodstuff for us and the kids. I even got see to see my gifts from Candy and her - can u imagine 2 watches!!! (How I wish I can tell them I do not need another watch and definitely not 2 more). AND how I wish the Coach watch be turned into a Coach bag because my Prada has been sent for repair. yes, all the way to Hong Kong. and it'll take 5-6 weeks. I vouched never to buy another Prada. Cant believe it lasted only 6 months and the were tears inside, broken stitches and peeling leather. (However, I did see another new design which fancied my eyes)...

had a simple lunch - fish fingers for the kids, cos lettuce and tomato salad with extra virgin oilve oil and lemon juice for myself and a ham, cheese, tomato paste and parsley pizza toast for us all.

the music that has been playing this morning must have helped create the relaxed mood too - it's Baroque.

Lunch @ Nandos 01 Sep 2006